I was walking around my house today in socks, a granny skirt, a scarf, and my hair bundled on top on my head kinda like a unicorn...I am sick today. There are so many crazy combos that I have worn on my sick days...it's like I lose all sense of fashion (even more so) on days like today.
One time I was lying in bed, and found some old butterfly wings from Halloween...did I wear those babies around the kitchen?
You bet I did.
I get so lacksidasical, dizzy and feverish. And no one questions it, because you're sick. It's like a free pass to look kinda crazy.
One time my roommate did question the beanie with tassles, but when I gave her my, "I've been in the house all day, and I don't feel good" face, she knew what time it was.
Wednesday, February 27
Monday, February 25
Third day of Silence
My Third Day of Silence:
Having this soreness, this loss of my voice is something that I want to enter in with, examining: God how do you want me to grow from this?
The most revealing thing that happened going into 'Day one' was that I could still hurt others barely using my voice. I could still judge and put down, with only a whisper. I quickly learned how to ask for forgiveness using a pen and paper.
Then as I entered my second full day without being able to talk, I became humble and joyous, just to be in the presence of others and observe their experiences; even learning what it means to listen.
At church, I really appreciate the word of God more! I really wanted to speak the word of God as encouragement and truth for my life and in my church…but nothing. I still reveled in the energy that filled the room, as our congregation shouted verbs, subjects, and adjectives of our Holy Word. At least Brooke and I made up a cool dance during worship I even got a "shout out" from Timm during his sermon, that I couldn't respond to, oh the pain and anguish of it all!!! Day three, I began to engage more with my thoughts, almost purifying my thoughts even more, because it was the only way I could engage with God, I couldn't speak out my prayers, I had to think them and think about God, with an occasional speechless mouth movement here and there.
I was surprised that I was still able to effectively communicate with the kids at my school. I would point, motion, and give my serious "stink-eye" and they knew exactly what I needed them to do. I was excited that there were 2 girls in particular that helped me communicate any discipline to the kids, (they loved that!) and even spoke to my mom when my cell phone rang to tell her, I quote, "Miss Contina can't talk." Then they referred back to me, "She says she loves you."
Many thanks to Shanise and Alaysia for translating for me all morning.
I fear that I may have lengthened my condition by forcing whispers, which I just read, is just as bad as shouting, because that action bangs your vocal chords!
So now on 'Day three', I am vowing complete silence and lots of water! What has been the most challenging is constantly having to defend my condition.
"Really!? You can't talk at all?"
"Can you laugh?"
"Say something…"
"Did you really lose your voice?"
"Whisper!"
It has gotten to the point where the only thing that I care about is getting better. So silence it is; not for attention, not for laughs, only for healing. I know the first thing I say when I get my voice back is, "Oh, Jesus, I love you." The other thing I'll say is: "boobs!" Just kidding! Keep me in your prayers!
Tia*
Having this soreness, this loss of my voice is something that I want to enter in with, examining: God how do you want me to grow from this?
The most revealing thing that happened going into 'Day one' was that I could still hurt others barely using my voice. I could still judge and put down, with only a whisper. I quickly learned how to ask for forgiveness using a pen and paper.
Then as I entered my second full day without being able to talk, I became humble and joyous, just to be in the presence of others and observe their experiences; even learning what it means to listen.
At church, I really appreciate the word of God more! I really wanted to speak the word of God as encouragement and truth for my life and in my church…but nothing. I still reveled in the energy that filled the room, as our congregation shouted verbs, subjects, and adjectives of our Holy Word. At least Brooke and I made up a cool dance during worship I even got a "shout out" from Timm during his sermon, that I couldn't respond to, oh the pain and anguish of it all!!! Day three, I began to engage more with my thoughts, almost purifying my thoughts even more, because it was the only way I could engage with God, I couldn't speak out my prayers, I had to think them and think about God, with an occasional speechless mouth movement here and there.
I was surprised that I was still able to effectively communicate with the kids at my school. I would point, motion, and give my serious "stink-eye" and they knew exactly what I needed them to do. I was excited that there were 2 girls in particular that helped me communicate any discipline to the kids, (they loved that!) and even spoke to my mom when my cell phone rang to tell her, I quote, "Miss Contina can't talk." Then they referred back to me, "She says she loves you."
Many thanks to Shanise and Alaysia for translating for me all morning.
I fear that I may have lengthened my condition by forcing whispers, which I just read, is just as bad as shouting, because that action bangs your vocal chords!
So now on 'Day three', I am vowing complete silence and lots of water! What has been the most challenging is constantly having to defend my condition.
"Really!? You can't talk at all?"
"Can you laugh?"
"Say something…"
"Did you really lose your voice?"
"Whisper!"
It has gotten to the point where the only thing that I care about is getting better. So silence it is; not for attention, not for laughs, only for healing. I know the first thing I say when I get my voice back is, "Oh, Jesus, I love you." The other thing I'll say is: "boobs!" Just kidding! Keep me in your prayers!
Tia*
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