Awake and Alert.

"Grasp truth, not just a good feeling while you're at church, because truth will change your life." - Pastor Bruce Fidler.

You know how when you're feeling discouraged, confused, or just bland...and then you go to church and you hear something that just shakes you out of the sleepwalk that you've been in.
I know that God has awesome plans for me this year, but the past few weeks, I've felt as if I've been sleepwalking through my life. I am busy, and there's a lot I have to do, yet I feel more like I am a watching it all happen instead of really living it.
Tonight, Pastor Bruce spoke about aligning yourself with what God wants to do in your life. How we need to be awake and alert or you'll miss that season where God has something in store for you. He also spoke a lot about the idea of "sending" or "being sent".
John 20:21 - Again Jesus said, "Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you"
Many dimensions of your spiritual growth never happens unless you reach out. Not as you sit, think, or stay, but as you "go".
Pastor Bruce shared a lot more, but in the end, he finished with asking all of us:
Just as Jesus was sent to a particular people...to whom have you been sent? Figure it out, Give yourself to it, and look at what God will do.
After tonight, I am left so encouraged, ready to align and reach out. Sleepwalking...pshaw! (as Abby would say).

Easter in March...Say Whaaat?!?

The resurrection was such an amazing event and my faith is continually strengthened every time I think about it...but this year Easter didn't feel the same. And here comes the whine:

This year Easter Sunday was March 23rd...yeah, me no likey.

I know sometimes Easter falls on March, but this year it really threw me off.
Way too early...is this date historically accurate? Can we stay on schedule, just a bit?
Living in Seattle again doesn't really help either. It's still so cold here! Had I participated in an Easter egg hunt, those eggs would have tasted a little sketchy. Getting used to Seattle weather is going to take longer than I thought.
I really had to push myself to focus on the "reason for the season". My froomie (friend + roommate) and I read all the versions of the resurrection in the Bible, then we watched the closest movie I owned that mentions Easter.
That movie was 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding'...it was the best I could do on such short notice.
My Sunday was pretty normal: prayer, laundry, lunch, cleaned up my room, got ready for church, attended church, left church, went to grocery store, came back home.

Now that Easter is over, I find myself still wanting to celebrate in April...why? Because it didn't feel like Easter!!
Maybe during the 2nd week of April I'll put on a bright colored dress, hide an egg, and watch 'Passion of the Christ'.

Vote! Easter in April 2009!!

Thanks for enduring my 1st superficial complaint of the year :) !

Third day of Silence

My Third Day of Silence:
Having this soreness, this loss of my voice is something that I want to enter in with, examining: God how do you want me to grow from this?
The most revealing thing that happened going into 'Day one' was that I could still hurt others barely using my voice. I could still judge and put down, with only a whisper. I quickly learned how to ask for forgiveness using a pen and paper.

Then as I entered my second full day without being able to talk, I became humble and joyous, just to be in the presence of others and observe their experiences; even learning what it means to listen.

At church, I really appreciate the word of God more! I really wanted to speak the word of God as encouragement and truth for my life and in my church…but nothing. I still reveled in the energy that filled the room, as our congregation shouted verbs, subjects, and adjectives of our Holy Word. At least Brooke and I made up a cool dance during worship I even got a "shout out" from Timm during his sermon, that I couldn't respond to, oh the pain and anguish of it all!!! Day three, I began to engage more with my thoughts, almost purifying my thoughts even more, because it was the only way I could engage with God, I couldn't speak out my prayers, I had to think them and think about God, with an occasional speechless mouth movement here and there.

I was surprised that I was still able to effectively communicate with the kids at my school. I would point, motion, and give my serious "stink-eye" and they knew exactly what I needed them to do. I was excited that there were 2 girls in particular that helped me communicate any discipline to the kids, (they loved that!) and even spoke to my mom when my cell phone rang to tell her, I quote, "Miss Contina can't talk." Then they referred back to me, "She says she loves you."
Many thanks to Shanise and Alaysia for translating for me all morning.

I fear that I may have lengthened my condition by forcing whispers, which I just read, is just as bad as shouting, because that action bangs your vocal chords!

So now on 'Day three', I am vowing complete silence and lots of water! What has been the most challenging is constantly having to defend my condition.
"Really!? You can't talk at all?"
"Can you laugh?"
"Say something…"
"Did you really lose your voice?"
"Whisper!"

It has gotten to the point where the only thing that I care about is getting better. So silence it is; not for attention, not for laughs, only for healing. I know the first thing I say when I get my voice back is, "Oh, Jesus, I love you." The other thing I'll say is: "boobs!" Just kidding! Keep me in your prayers!

Tia*